One Year Old

Well it is finally here, T's 1st birthday. I can't help but remember the day he was born and him as a newborn. He was the cutest baby, ever (okay I know I'm bias but he really was cute). He was 8 lbs of cuteness. He was a very easy baby that first day. He actually was a great baby all along. My only complaint was that he didn't sleep well. He only wanted to sleep on me, preferably on the breast. And I let him. He was just so tiny and sweet, I didn't want to put him down.

I barely remember the early days with T, I was too sleep deprived. I remember nursing a lot and not sleeping much. Which I guess explains why I don't remember anything. I do remember that first day/night at home. I remember who was here and all the calls we got. I have never felt so loved by the people in my life. Everyone calling with well wishes or stopping by to see our newest addition. Some people surprised me so much. There were friends that I never would have guessed to be baby people, who were so excited to meet T and want to hold him. It was sweet seeing our male friends holding T for the first time. They all had that same look on their face. It was a look of, "OMG, am I going to break this baby?"

One of my favourite memory of the day T was born was coming home in the pouring rain and people were already at our house awaiting our (well really just T's) arrival. A little while after we were home R's younger brother was over visiting. He was so nervous holding the baby but the look he gave T was one that can only be described as pure love and awe. For the longest time that was how it was between the two of them. G was nervous but so in love with the baby. Now he isn't nervous anymore but still so in love with T.

As I look back I can't help but think of T's future. Of the boy he is becoming and the man he will one day become. I am so blessed to have him as my son. I love him more then I could ever say and I hope he always knows that. I have many dreams and wishes for him as he grown but the most important is I hope he always feels the love his father and I have for him. That he grows up to be a good man, who is secure in himself and those around him.

I love you baby!

Love Mamma

xoxo

831

Update on Birthday Cake

Now, really this is becoming an obsession. What am I going to obsesses about after the party?! So the update is.....the cake is delicious.....If I do say so myself. The cake was moist and not too sweet (even though there is more sugar then flour.....bad for a baby's birthday?) And the icing was even better! Although I think it needs more PB and less butter. So now I have to think about how to decorate the cupcakes for the party and the cake at home. I would like to find some animals to put on them since T loves animals. I wonder if I can find little elephants?

Although, I must admit having to (or feeling like I have to) bake a cake is not a real hardship. Especially, since it turned out well.

Now since T is still sleeping I think I am going to go have a slice of cake now......purely to make sure it's still okay....I'm just being a good mum

Birthday countdown: 9 days

Why is it I feel the need to make an elaborate cake for T's first birthday? I mean he's not going to remember it and all is guest are babies too. Oh motherhood, what have you done to me? In fact why do I want to make the cake at all. I guess it seems like a gesture of love or something because there is this overwhelming feeling telling me to make an amazing cake. So much so that I am looking for the perfect recipe so that I can do a practice cake before his actual birthday.....wouldn't want his first birthday to lead to food poisoning.....not that I'm a bad cook. Now in the land of motherhood there is this overriding desire to be perfect. To make the birthday cake from scratch (though I never do for R or anybody else for that matter and probably never will again for T) and smile the whole time claiming, "it was nothing". Becoming a mother seems to have made that small irrational part of my brain the dominating force. When the rest of my brain is screaming, "You're CRAZY lady!!! You don't need to do this! It's OK" the dominating crazy part says, "oh yes you do need to do this. It's nice. Try it, you'll like it, it's good for you........It's good for T".

Seriously, somebody needs to have a chat with that irrational side and tell that Bitch to back off!

Another day in the land of the sleep deprived. Ok so I know I have nobody to blame for it this time but myself. I let T sleep in our bed last night....gasp now. It just so cozy and it usually means I can stay in bed longer so it seems like a good idea. Well not last night. T woke up in the middle of the night and was whiney and moving all about until I caved and nursed him...gasp again. Well I'd love to say I've learned from this and I will not be doing it again but I know that's a lie.

So we are now into the birthday countdown and I'm finding it really sad. He's just getting so big, next thing I know he'll be off to Uni and then getting married and having his own babies....I'm not ready to be a grandmother!? Ok so the rational part of my brain knows I'm not becoming a grandmother for a very long time still but as I said I'm a frequent visiter to the land of the sleep deprived, i.e. not rational. I've just made the invitations to go out to a few of his little friends and am now looking for a good cake recipe. I am also in the process of making his birthday photo book, basically a year in review...way to dwell on him getting bigger.

Oh well babies grow. I can't stop it. I think I'll just have to try and enjoy it and take lots of pictures (our poor second child, there is no way I can take as many pictures when we do this all again)

From the Mummyhood......see you later