Emotional Boys

I have been thinking a lot about how to raise a boy.  I want to raise him to be a good man.  A man who treats others well, who is fair and kind.  I also want him to be a man's man.  To be strong and capable but at the same time I want him to be in touch with his emotions and his sensitive side.  So how do I do that?  How do you create that balance?

I feel it is important for children (boys especially) to be given words and ways of expressing their emotions.  I try to label T's feelings whether he is happy or sad but also when he is mad or frustrated.  I don't want to (for lack of a better word) make him a sissy I just want him to be aware of his feelings.  We play rough with T, let him get dirty, fall, get hurt and get back up.  We give him trucks and swords and "boy toys".  On the other hand, when he cries we cuddle him and tell him, "it's okay" and we love him.  T has a doll and a tea set.  Is this setting up the right balance?  Is there such a thing as "the right balance"?

I find myself thinking of T as a future grown-up, a member of society.  I try to think of the kind of man I want him to become.  I think of the men I have known, those in my life now and those that are no longer a part of it for whatever reason, and I try to think of all the good parts of those men and try to compile what it means to be a good man.

How do you teach a boy to be a good man?  I don't know.  I think it has to do with the role models a boy has (both male and female) and the interactions he sees and participates in.  I don't know the answers here I just hope we are setting T on the right path.

MadMen

I'm watching an old episode of the show Mad Men and sometimes wonder what it was like to live in those times. More specifically to be a women and a wife/mother in those times.

I have to admit I love the scene when the daughter is running around with a plastic dry cleaning bag on her head. The mother calls her over and says, that the clean clothes better not be on the floor or else she is in trouble. I love that that is the concern. Not that the kid has a plastic bag on her head but about the dry cleaning.

Now, this mamma wonders, is that a simpler time or an uneducated time??

A Day for Mamma

Somedays in our lives are about T....well most days are about T but that isn't the point. Somedays are about T, some R and somedays are all about ME! Today is one of those days. I have had a great mummy day. No, nothing exciting. No spa or mani/pedi or even a hair cut. It was just a great day.

My mum came to visit in the morning, so that occupied T all morning. Then after lunch and a nap T played with his uncle and then his other

grandparents. I enjoyed watching them play and some sunshine. Then this evening I enjoyed a MNO (mums night out). R took T out for dinner while I had a delicious glass of wine and got ready for dinner.

Today was the kind of day you want/need sometimes. A day where you

remember what you were like BC (before children). I felt like my old self today and loved it. Tonight especially, I felt like the 20-something girl I use to be. Getting

ready for a night on the town. A night of dinner and drinks, the only thing missing was dancing.

I feel younger then I have in awhile and must remember to do this

for myself again.....soon.

This mamma says, treat yourself to a night out once and awhile. It makes all the difference.

Growing Green, Baby

Well it is officially spring, even if it doesn't feel like it yet. T and I have decided to "fake it 'til we make it". We planted some tomato seeds and are hoping they sprout. T is all excited, though I don't think he knows what we are actually doing. All he knows it that we have to pour water on these things and in his world, that is a good thing.

I decided to do this with him for many reasons. Encouraging local eating, teaching cause and effect (sometimes the ECE in me sneaks out) but the main reason is simply because T loves the garden. He loves flowers and trees and even the bugs and bees. He pretends to pick flowers in books and even on my clothes. So here is a little project for us.

I figure the best case scenario is T loves it and has yummy (for him) tomatoes to eat. The worst case is he losses interest and doesn't want the tomatoes, in which case NaNa wins.

I'll keep you posted on our progress.

Worst Idea EVER!

Well it seems that I am raising a little boy who is part human and all monkey. At 18 months old we had to put him into a toddler bed because he could climb out of his crib. It isn't going well to say the least.

Every nap and at bedtime I come upstairs and sit by his bed so that he doesn't just hop down and run to the door to call me. I tried leaving the room and he just screams until naptime is over or until I go to bed, either way that doesn't work. So now I'm that parent sitting on the floor of my child's room until he is sleeping. Don't worry I know this is an awful habit to start but what are my other options? I figure it this way, if

sitting by his bed gets him to fall asleep in his own bed for now I can break this habit down the road.

Today however, this doesn't seem to be working. I am sitting here and he is just playing in his crib beside me. I've tried leaving the room but that didn't help either. Why is my son a monster? Honestly, every time I hear anybody talk about how well their child(ren) sleep, I am so jealous and think, "I hope your next child never sleeps". Awful, right? I don't want to begrudge other people their wonderful, sleepy babies....I just want mine to sleep......please?!

Until the day T starts to sleep well (that day will come, won't it?) I just remind myself that one day he will be a teenager and want to sleep all the time and it will be my turn to wake/keep him up. I am really looking forward to that day.

I know it's bad.....

I have just gotten back from an amazing weekend in Paris with my family. I love traveling with my boys. We have so much fun and I love watching T explore new places. Traveling is something I love and I'm so happy to share it with T.

However, on our way home I always feel really good about myself and my family when I see other families and how hassled they seem. There was one family yelling at their kids in the airport and another Dad getting really pissy with his son getting into the car. I can't help it, I know it's bad but it really does make me feel like a

great parent. Now don't get me wrong, I get annoyed with T and with R but the traveling doesn't stress me out. Coming home makes me sad our vacation is over but we always seem like a closer family after spending time together. Seeing other parents, who frankly don't seem to be enjoying their family at all, makes me value my family even more.

So thanks to the stressed out traveling families for helping me appreciate my family even more.

Terrible Twos already?!

Well I've always said T thinks he is older then he really is, so why does it surprise me that we have hit the terrible twos early? Full on with temper tantrums and all. We have already had more then one full on melt downs today and it's only 1;30. Oh help me people. The worst part of it might be dealing with it in public. I don't mind the people looking on, it's that T hams it up when other people are around. He loves an audience.

No wait.....the worst part is definitely all the "no" and the "mine" I hear all day. Everything I ask him is "no" whether he means it or not.

me: "T you want a cookie"

T: "no....cookie, please"

I give him the cooking and then it's, "mine!"

All day this is what I hear, "no, no, no, no........" It's a good thing he is still super cute because otherwise I may have a baby for sale (just kidding, by the way). It's too bad he is still too young to bribe him with Santa threats.

Winter-blahs

How is it that winter has only started but I'm already feeling the effects? I amdreading going out and just feeling tired. Our house is just so warm and cozy and outside is NOT. A temperature of -13 degrees just isn't inviting, no matter how you look at it.

We had our first real snowfall this week and I can actually admit I en

joyed it. Let me

state that I usually HATE all things winter. T was just so happy to be out in the snow, building snowmen, throwing snowballs, just running around like a

little mad man and it was awesome. He was so proud of his snowmen that he wanted to show everybody. So much so that I had to carry one over to his grandmother's house and show her. Again, SO cute!

Back to the blahs, I feel like I am running on empty all day long. I think that if I got up in the morning and went for a run I'd feel better throughout the day but ......blah..... Have I mentioned that tired feeling and that it's cold outside. See catch-22. I don't want to go outside because I'm too tired but if I go outside I'll get more energy. I've asked R to set my bike up inside on the rollers so I can't use the outside excuse but as of yet, he hasn't done it. Okay in all fairness, he did try but my bike didn't work so he has asked a friend to help. I just hope it gets done soon. Otherwise this may be a long, sleepy winter made doubly hard by a very active one year old.

This mamma says, I need energy. Anybody have any extra?

Remember when....?

I remember a time, not too long ago, when I looked forward to the end of daylight savings time. That weekend was the best. It meant an extra hour of sleep or an extra hour of partying or dancing or whatever else I wanted an extra hour for. Not anymore. This years "fall back" has resulted in a week of 5:00am wake-ups and then to days of a less then impressed one year old. All of which leads to one sleepy mamma. Is this what I get for wasting all the extra hours of my past in less then productive manner? If so, I'd love to say it was all worth it but I don't remember all the hours wasted, and I can't blame it all on the mum-dumbs.

This has brought me to remembering other child-free days. Not all the memories are ones I wish to share, some more embarrassing then others. For the most part however, they were great memories. Nights spent with friends having, mostly innocent, fun. I started........I started this sentence and then was interrupted so now it is gone...Thank-you Mum-Dumbs

So with that I will call it a night.

Until next time

Sweet Sweet Baby

This mamma is going to use this post to do a bit of bragging....consider yourself warned

I have the sweetest baby, ever. Not only is he sweet and cuddly with me and his other grown-ups, he is so generous with other children. Today I bought him a new pacifier, which was actually a package of two. He was so excited when I showed him the package he wanted it opened right away. I told him I first had to sterilize them but he could have them after his nap. After dinner I remembered the pacifier and showed T. Again he was so excited so I gave him one. After a few minutes he noticed the second one. Instead of demanding that one as well, as many children would do, T said it was for "NoNoNo" (his "girlfriend"). I said, "okay we can give it to her next time we see her." Well T did not agree with that, he was very insistent we give it to her right then. He was at the front door with the pacifier saying, "NoNoNo, that" and pointing to the door. Sweet baby just wanted to share with his girlfriend. So I packed him up and walked over to her house (luckily it's close by or else we wouldn't have gone). As soon as we saw her, T was handing over the pacifier. He was so happy to give it to her. It really was the sweetest thing.

I don't know what I have done to have a baby who is so sweet, with a kind, loving heart but I am so blessed.

Mamma loves you BuggyBoy xoxo

Wow I realize I may be the worst blogger ever! No really, how long has it been since my last post? I think it's over a month, maybe getting close to two. Sorry folks.

This Mamma has been very run down lately. T has been sick and teething, for what feels like forever, and last week I finally got his cold. Needless to say we are keeping the tissue companies in business right now.

The other new and oh so exciting development here is the early on set of toddler behaviours. I know T is almost a toddler so I shouldn't be surprised...but I was really hoping they would hold off a bit longer. You know in lieu of never being a great sleeper, I wouldn't have to deal with tantrums so soon. That is obviously not my luck. So now I have a 14 month old throwing fits, with fake crying and all, when he doesn't get his own way. The worst seems to be at mealtime when I outrageously, expect T to eat his food and he wants to play with it...or more accurately, in it. I know we will get through this but for now it's timeouts and mamma trying to stay calm.

To all the Mamma's out there, Breath

Here we go again

Well the tooth is through so now it's back to bed for T. I am currently holed up in my bathroom listening to him cry. We share a room with him so I can't come out until he's asleep. I must admit it's not been too bad though....did I really just say that?! Am I trying to jinx this?!? Rookie mistake.

Well since it's out there already, he's been pretty good. That's not to say he's gone to bed without a fight, but the crying (or screaming) hasn't lasted as long as it could. Last night he sleep the whole night once he was down, I was so impressed. I realize of course he was probably really tired.

He seems quiet again....dare I check?? Wish me luck folks

xo

Will this tooth just come already!?!...

Another Friday night and I've been in bed with T since 8:00. R is out with his friends, and most of me is happy for him, the other part of me is a bit jealous and a bit lonely. I can't remember how long this bout of teething has been going on for but it feels like forever! I miss our old routine of putting T to bed and then spending some grown-up time together. I mean we were together for years just the two of us. Now don't get me wrong, I would happily spend ever night cuddled up snug with the bug, I do miss R and our time together too.

So now we wait for the teeth (yes plural) to make their big appearance and then we can get T back on schedule and in his own bed. Although I think that sounds much easier then it's actually going to be, seeing as T now thinks our bed is his bed. I will say, "bedtime" or "go night-night" and he goes to our nice, big, cozy king size bed. If you now ask him where his bed is, he'll point to ours and say, "there". Right now I think this is funny but I know soon it will just be a lot of tears. All I can say is, thank god it's a king size bed.

I don't know how other people, with kids have beds smaller then a king. How do you all fit in there? I joke with R saying a smaller be is just uncivilized but part of me believes that. If we had a smaller bed R would have been sleeping on the couch during this ordeal. I know he manages to sleep through 99% of the times T wakes up but it would be even worst if I knew he was sound asleep downstairs while I was waking up 3, 4, 5, even 6 times a night. I would have been a cranky bunny.

I feel like this post has been a lot of complaining and for that I am sorry....I blame the tooth and the lack of sleep. Hopefully the next one will be more upbeat.

That's all this mamma says for now....

Getting better....?

It seems things might be coming back to normal around here, and not a moment too soon. The tooth still isn't through but T is back to his normal self, for the most part at least. I must say I don't know how parents put up with children who are whiney. It would drive me nuts. Now all I have to do is get him back to sleeping the whole night in his own bed and we will be golden.....until the next tooth that is.

Poor Baby

Well last night was another rough night for T (and mamma but doesn't that go without saying?) He is really in the wars right now and what we thought was teething maybe is a stomach bug. He threw up for the first time last night. Not as bad as it could have been but it still broke my heart. I hate when he doesn't feel well. Especially, because he can't tell me what's wrong.

All this does make me re-think my demon child comment, maybe he was just sick. Poor baby! Although, I can take comfort in the fact that I'm not the first mother to call my child a demon child. Thank God for other mothers who need to vent too.

T has been much better since his AWFUL day. He is still cranky but not nearly as bad. Maybe he was really bad that first day so that these days now seem manageable in comparison. Smart, slightly malicious but still smart baby.

Good thing I love him more than I could say

In the words of 90210 star, "Love you, Babe"

Just Breath

Just Breath Mamma....that is what I have to remind myself lately. Well, really just today. T is teething and miserable. Who is this demon child and where has my sweet, wonderful, happy son gone? Today he spent over an hour and a half crying while he should have been sleeping. He isn't sleeping at night and he isn't sleeping during his nap and he is so unhappy and there is nothing I can do about it. I am trying everything I can think of and....nothing. He is finally sleeping now, obviously or I couldn't be writing right now. I had to cave and take him out in his stroller but at least he's asleep. ......I spoke too soon. He's up....

You're STILL Breastfeeding?!?!

So as you know T just turned one and here's my big scandal....I'm still breastfeeding and don't plan on weaning anytime soon.....shocking I know. I believe in breastfeeding. I believe that I am doing what is best for my son. I believe that while my son could go on cow's milk now, breast milk is still best. Now that's not to say I won't give him cow's milk from time to time or that I think cow's milk is bad. It's just that for now it's still the breast for T.

I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion but it doesn't mean I want to hear it. I'm always surprised when people I don't know voice their opinion on anything I do, especially concerning my son. I don't think I'd ever go up to a stranger and give them my two cents on what they are doing. Who am I to them? What do they care how I feel? What do I care? I find it doubly surprising when a man comes up to me to give me his opinion on breastfeeding. You don't even have breasts.

Personally I am prepared for people and their comments, especially as T is getting so big. I know people feel strongly about breastfeeding (both for and against) but the way people talk about it, you'd think the act was endangering the child.

So if anyone out there sees my nursing T, just keep quiet. I don't need to know your opinion about it, just as you don't need to know mine about sex in public.

One Year Old

Well it is finally here, T's 1st birthday. I can't help but remember the day he was born and him as a newborn. He was the cutest baby, ever (okay I know I'm bias but he really was cute). He was 8 lbs of cuteness. He was a very easy baby that first day. He actually was a great baby all along. My only complaint was that he didn't sleep well. He only wanted to sleep on me, preferably on the breast. And I let him. He was just so tiny and sweet, I didn't want to put him down.

I barely remember the early days with T, I was too sleep deprived. I remember nursing a lot and not sleeping much. Which I guess explains why I don't remember anything. I do remember that first day/night at home. I remember who was here and all the calls we got. I have never felt so loved by the people in my life. Everyone calling with well wishes or stopping by to see our newest addition. Some people surprised me so much. There were friends that I never would have guessed to be baby people, who were so excited to meet T and want to hold him. It was sweet seeing our male friends holding T for the first time. They all had that same look on their face. It was a look of, "OMG, am I going to break this baby?"

One of my favourite memory of the day T was born was coming home in the pouring rain and people were already at our house awaiting our (well really just T's) arrival. A little while after we were home R's younger brother was over visiting. He was so nervous holding the baby but the look he gave T was one that can only be described as pure love and awe. For the longest time that was how it was between the two of them. G was nervous but so in love with the baby. Now he isn't nervous anymore but still so in love with T.

As I look back I can't help but think of T's future. Of the boy he is becoming and the man he will one day become. I am so blessed to have him as my son. I love him more then I could ever say and I hope he always knows that. I have many dreams and wishes for him as he grown but the most important is I hope he always feels the love his father and I have for him. That he grows up to be a good man, who is secure in himself and those around him.

I love you baby!

Love Mamma

xoxo

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Update on Birthday Cake

Now, really this is becoming an obsession. What am I going to obsesses about after the party?! So the update is.....the cake is delicious.....If I do say so myself. The cake was moist and not too sweet (even though there is more sugar then flour.....bad for a baby's birthday?) And the icing was even better! Although I think it needs more PB and less butter. So now I have to think about how to decorate the cupcakes for the party and the cake at home. I would like to find some animals to put on them since T loves animals. I wonder if I can find little elephants?

Although, I must admit having to (or feeling like I have to) bake a cake is not a real hardship. Especially, since it turned out well.

Now since T is still sleeping I think I am going to go have a slice of cake now......purely to make sure it's still okay....I'm just being a good mum

Birthday countdown: 9 days

Why is it I feel the need to make an elaborate cake for T's first birthday? I mean he's not going to remember it and all is guest are babies too. Oh motherhood, what have you done to me? In fact why do I want to make the cake at all. I guess it seems like a gesture of love or something because there is this overwhelming feeling telling me to make an amazing cake. So much so that I am looking for the perfect recipe so that I can do a practice cake before his actual birthday.....wouldn't want his first birthday to lead to food poisoning.....not that I'm a bad cook. Now in the land of motherhood there is this overriding desire to be perfect. To make the birthday cake from scratch (though I never do for R or anybody else for that matter and probably never will again for T) and smile the whole time claiming, "it was nothing". Becoming a mother seems to have made that small irrational part of my brain the dominating force. When the rest of my brain is screaming, "You're CRAZY lady!!! You don't need to do this! It's OK" the dominating crazy part says, "oh yes you do need to do this. It's nice. Try it, you'll like it, it's good for you........It's good for T".

Seriously, somebody needs to have a chat with that irrational side and tell that Bitch to back off!