Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Emotional Boys

I have been thinking a lot about how to raise a boy.  I want to raise him to be a good man.  A man who treats others well, who is fair and kind.  I also want him to be a man's man.  To be strong and capable but at the same time I want him to be in touch with his emotions and his sensitive side.  So how do I do that?  How do you create that balance?

I feel it is important for children (boys especially) to be given words and ways of expressing their emotions.  I try to label T's feelings whether he is happy or sad but also when he is mad or frustrated.  I don't want to (for lack of a better word) make him a sissy I just want him to be aware of his feelings.  We play rough with T, let him get dirty, fall, get hurt and get back up.  We give him trucks and swords and "boy toys".  On the other hand, when he cries we cuddle him and tell him, "it's okay" and we love him.  T has a doll and a tea set.  Is this setting up the right balance?  Is there such a thing as "the right balance"?

I find myself thinking of T as a future grown-up, a member of society.  I try to think of the kind of man I want him to become.  I think of the men I have known, those in my life now and those that are no longer a part of it for whatever reason, and I try to think of all the good parts of those men and try to compile what it means to be a good man.

How do you teach a boy to be a good man?  I don't know.  I think it has to do with the role models a boy has (both male and female) and the interactions he sees and participates in.  I don't know the answers here I just hope we are setting T on the right path.

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